Showing posts from May, 2010

Another long story about getting laid.... NO, sorry about the Power Of Intentions.... OK, WHATEVER...

Let me start by saying that in my stories thus far, names were NOT changed to protect the “innocent”, since I believed that whoever danced with me during my bad-ass days, is guilty as charged.

I hear a voice inside me saying: “Write about Zvi”
Me: “I don’t want to!

Voice: “write about Zvi”

Me “I don’t want to!”

Voice: “Write about Zvi”

Me: “Why are you insisting?”

Voice: “Write about Zvi”

Me: “Stop that! you are freaking me out!”

Voice: “Write about Zvi”

Me: “Oh why don’t you just fuck off? “

Voice: “ Write about Zvi”

Me: “OK I will, but tell me why?”

Voice: “because it will help them (and you) understand.

Me: “understand what?”

Voice: “understand the power of INTENTIONS.”

Me: “OK, here it is:”

Zvi was not what most people would categorize as a very handsome man.
He had dark black hair and blue eyes, but the thing that attracted me to him the most, was his sense of humor.

I am not talking just funny- I am talking HILARIOUS.
The kind of funny that makes you pee in your pants or roll over on the floor hold…

A woman with BIG issues

Dear Sandeep,

You say that when you write your poetry,
you keep your pain to yourself and share only your joy with the world.
You say you believe in spreading only “positive” messages around.

I take my hat off before your good intentions and your kind heart-
You do not wish to burden the world with your pain.

But I pose a question to you: “Does it REALLY work?”

Those who have ears,
those who care to listen
those who truly STOP to listen,
will hear your pain, in the “pretty” songs you sing.

I “hear” the pain you try and hide.
I hear you crave to understand the Laws of God.
I hear you wonder why the Universe grant people’s wishes,
while others have so little.

I hear you try and understand the truth.
I hear your pain when you write poetry
to your parents.
I hear your love and ache for them and your longing to understand
why it all had to end.

I hear you wonder how you could manifest easily in the world,
provide for your family,
without becoming a crook,
or compromising your integrity.

I hear you ache for knowle…


I once was in love with a guy who had no arm.
Well, he had it to begin with, but it was amputated after a war injury.

Yossi was a great sculptor and a very successful artist before the war.
Now, he worked with a prosthetic arm, and still made beautiful sculptures (in stone!!!)

We met in the country club where both of us loved to swim.
Our friendship developed over tea, after our long swims.

Yossi was not in love with me.
He loved another girl .
She was also a member of our County Club, a real voluptuous beauty, who did not give him a second look.

I was a skinny, bony thing, barely a woman.

Still, we went to sleep together in his bed.
He lived in a beautiful apartment in an upscale part of town.

I cried the first time we made love.
Yossi turned to me and asked softly: “why are you crying?”

“It is the first time I had an orgasm with a man.” I said weeping.

Yossi was not my first lover, but he was the first man my body responded to.

He was not a phony, a thief that will say a million sweet things to get…

Talk about creating your own reality

You want to hear something Kurrrrrazzzzy?In Dotombori Osaka, the USA based, nearly bankrupted chain store of Krispy Kreme Doghnuts, has a long line of people, waiting in the RAIN to get in.The line is all day long. Average waiting: 45 min- 2 hours.There are two guards in charge of the line. They walk with signs that display the remaining waiting time.Talk about creating your own reality

An Indiana Story

Indiana, Indiana USA
I have stayed there once for ten days.
I had booked an art show in Chicago
And stopped to stay in Indiana
In a state park alone.
I had a kayak and a cabin with a single bed.

Every day I went into the lake
(Or was it a river- I do not remember now)
Every evening I ate a baked potato and a salad.
I wrote a lot, doodled in my pad and slept good
With the the chipmunks and the birds.

Later I bought a new caravan in Indiana,
The kind you hook up behind your van.
I thought it will give me some freedom,
While doing art shows across the USA.

It ended up being a nightmare.
My second husband could not drive it
We could never maneuver it in reverse.
We ended up almost colliding with a train in Indiana.
He did not see the red lights of the train

I saw the red lights, but I did not shout out.
After a million fights,
where I have pointed the obvious
and was told
“Don’t you think I can SEE that?”
I had assumed he saw the red lights.

It was the kind of train crossing,
that did not have the safety arm
He was …

The Kind people you meet around the world

I am standing at Namba Osaka, holding a map, looking for a small museum that exhibits Japanese paintings from the 1800’s.

A man approaches me.
He has 12 words in English,
I have 12 words in Japanese.

He insists on helping us to find the place, but he does not know where it is.

He wants to take us to the local police station, where he can get instructions.
I do not want to follow, but I see the eagerness to help in his eyes, and decide to humor him.

It is pouring rain and he hands me his umbrella and plow forwards with Jules to the police station.
He is a fast walker and Jules can hardly keep up with him.
I don't even try, I walk slowly behind them under the protection of his umbrella.

At the station, he gets a Japanese map and exact directions.

He is on a mission now, and he guides us through the narrow alleys.
He and Jules are dripping wet when we finally find the place.

The man insists that I keep his umbrella.
He says it is his gift to me.
I insist that I should not.
I insist harder and I win.

Publicly airing my guilt and regrets – in three Parts

Publicly airing my guilt and regrets – Part 1
If I have to hold back my tongue or be only diplomatic, I rather not post at all.

If I speak my mind and offend people’s sensibilities - I hope they will delete me.

If I cannot speak my mind, I rather take a silence vow and not speak at all, than to learn to speak only pleasantries that do not come from the heart.

I hear a smaller voice inside whispering in a scared voice:
“If you will speak your mind, they will NOT like you.
They will crucify you, like they did to him.
Will he be there to raise you from the dead?”

I raise my eyes to Him,
But He does not answer me.
He sits there with his beatific smile,
upon the rock he rolled over from Lazarus’ cave.
He is older than the rocks he sits amongst.

Both of us were born on the same soil.
He had moved on to greater things,
like teaching and healing souls,
and I have moved over to New Zealand.
(A land filled with a New Zeal)
Publicly airing my guilt and regrets – Part 2

In continuation with my process of peeling of…

Kinegawa- Japanese for “Ogre Angry River”

In the land of a thousand Samurais,
On the bank of an angry river,
I have found my rest

While soaking in an outdoors bath
I have heard a voice
Encouraging me to soar.

It said:
“Forget your Buddhist misconceptions,
You don’t have to wait by the door
For all humanity to pass through,
Before you gain enlightment.

Let go of all the images
You hold against the world,
You hold against yourself.

You are NOT the roles you carry in this life.
You are NOT a body
NOT a wife
Not a woman
Not a daughter
Not an artist
Not a female
Not a Kiwi
Not an American
Not an Israeli
Not a Christian
Not a Jew
Not a Muslim
Not a Hindu
Not white or black or brown.
You are NOT angry or happy or sad.

You are not any of these labels


Sitting outdoors,
In a bubbling hot springs,
On the banks of an angry river,
I have found the courage to believe.

And I was FREE!

Joy was forming in my tummy
And bursting out of me
The green mountains rising up the river,
Could not contain me
I have soared above them

Then the clock turned 7:30 am

Onsen (hot springs) in the morning (Japan)

Women sitting on low stools
Unhurriedly scrabbling their soft skin
Towel between the little toes
Scented, soapy waters running down
Their bodies.

Beautiful hair is gently shampooed
Long slender fingers lathering in and out of thick hair
The smell of jasmine or orchid is in the air.
The main bath is HOT
I can see steam rising in the air

The women are gentle
They do not stare at the foreign woman
In their midst
But they ARE curious
I can sense them quickly
Glance to see how she is built.

I do not meet their eyes on purpose
I want them to look
To see that we are very similar
That we are essentially built the same.

I am NOT a foreign element
Wrapped in an enigma
Wrapped in a mystery
Wrapped in nothing at all.

I am a woman
Who carries her life’s experiences
In the forms of scars on her body,
Just like them.
And so they gaze.

They look at me hypnotized
And when I finally catch their eyes,
They smile at me shyly
Almost apologetically
And I return a loving smile.

Kaiseki – tasting menu in Japan

Food is elevated to an art form
It is NOT only for nourishing the body
It is intended to delight your senses,
To call your attention to the beauty around you.

To remind you that we live in a beautiful,
Magical, poetic universe.
If you do not see it,
It is because you do not stop to appreciate it.
It appeals to your aesthetics and your sensibilities.

Carefully chosen bowls and hand painted
Plates are poetic.
A swan painted in blue
May be accompanies with the blossom of
A blue flower,
A slice of a green seaweed,
A whisper of a story
About a fishing bird at sea.

A single tender ball floating in a dark broth,
Meant to remind you of the full moon,
Floating in the dark night sky.

The taste is subtle and complex.
It takes slowing down
And reaching beyond the five senses
That bombards our nervous systems
With labels like

It is beyond labels in your mind.
How will you call a soft creamy patty, made from burdock root
That has been cooked in herbs, wild mushrooms
Carrots and root ve…

Trip to Japan

We are on a remote mountain in Japan, grateful to have internet in the hotel's lobby.
We just had a dinner of handmade noodles with wild mushrooms in a yummy broth.
Last time I was in Japan it was 2001.
I remember being served a Kaiseki meal in a Ryokan,(traditional style inn) wrapped in a house kimono, while on TV, the Japanese announcer was freaking out in panic, as the world trade center's towers were crumbling to the ground.

"Boys Festival" is celebrated in Japan on the month of May (now).
They have long baloons in the shape of carp fish.

The carp is used as a symbol of progress and life, as it is said to be battling upstream for most of his life - much like some boys that I personaly know.

Let me start by saying that JUST by inventing the heated toilet seat, Japan has already contributed MORE than its fair share to humanity.

If you need more reasons to love this beautiful place and its people, it will require a slow stroll in a quaint village with an open heart and a de…

Another poem/ video
Another great poem/ video Poetry at its best!! Have to Listen to it, more than once.

Beer does NOT drink itself...
I like to think this is a race you win,rather than lose.
I'd like to think that there is a solid ground

That death DOESN'T have to happen...

What a blessing!

Poetic video
A true masterpiece! peeled off the wall of a friend in Liverpool,
Gerry Potter - A powerful and poetic video, I had to write some of it down as it just played on my inner guitar's strings with its soft fingers.

... Become the man AND the moon

His constant companion? infinity.

With? Forever! - in the vicinity

He is someone..
he isn't?
he is!!!!
isn't he??

He is the spark of a match...
He is Dorothy's shoes...
And JUST wants to save the world..

Two Men, Fat Cigars and Theories- A True Story- only in my words

Imagine this scene:

Ziggy is sharing a glass of sherry with Rolland.

Both of the men are sucking on thick cigars and puffing the smoke into the leathery air of the mahogany clad library’s walls.

Both men are highly esteemed in their society.

Ziggy’s ideas may not withstand the test of time, though.

He had created theories in the field of psychology that were not based on actually LISTENING to his clients.

Too many young Austrian girls, were complaining that they were sexually approached by their dads- which led Ziggy to compose his “Penis Envy Theory.”

I have a bone to pick with Ziggy.

He had negatively “inspired” a long chain of distorted psychiatry and psychology practices that are still taught today.

He did not “HEAR” those girls nor believed their complaints.

He did not feel the “vibes” of the society he was living in.

He was not intuitive enough to realize that he was
living in a repressed, bigoted, European society,
filled with people that were screaming to be free.

But tonight …

I miss Israel AND Palestine

I remember better times
On that small sliver of land.
Times scented with rosemary
and freshly grilled fish with lemon and garlic
Sweet Baklava sprinkled with green pistachio
and amber colored mint tea.

I remember smiles
and Beduins dressed in Thobes. (long dress)
The women's had embroidery of beads
in colorful threads
At the end of their sleeves
and along the neck's openings.

The men's long Thobes, were plain white
or striped in grey.
I remember a time when jellabas
were NOT a symbol of terror,
but a clothing accessory,
A simple scarf to ward off the sand.
Me and my friends had some too.

I remember driving trough a country
that was populated with both
Jewish people and Arabs
with no check points.

I remember driving to buy produce
in Gaza,
because it was organic and fresh
and I could sit in the local cafe'
and exchange pleasantries with
the strong men with big hearts
and no teeth.

I remember loving their places
and visiting some homes,
where I would drink strong turkish coffee
and eat the BEST hummus
I …

I will never understand the stock market.

Boy, I hate the stock Markets!

They reacts like a nervous, unexperienced, unreasonable, teen age girl that misinterpret ANY signal she gets from a boy.

Here is today’s headline: “Dow industrials down as much as 230 points as markets train sights on Athens. Greeks in the streets, Brits at the polls, bulls in retreat.”

Now, maybe I am not a bright woman - but WHY is this bad news?

The European Union just did a “Humane” thing and reached its hand to the failing Greek economy- this sent the stock markets spiraling down.

In return to the helping hand, the Greek parliament was required to put into action an “Austerity Plan” or, in other words, some “belt tightening” measures to bring their spending into line with their earnings so they can become stronger and not crash again.

The Greek parliament approves government austerity plan
Now the Greek Parliament under guard as Greeks protest austerity measures as lawmakers approve deficit-reduction plans.

“The Brits are at the poles”- well DAAAAA! - isn’t…

A PG 16 LOVE story

This PG16 love story has it ALL.
It has last and sex and true LOVE.
It has intrigue and romance, longing and hidden orgasms.
So without further introduction, here it is:

One day in a far away island floating on a long white cloud, God fell in love with a brown skinned woman.

But this was not thousands of years ago, in ancient times, these were modern times where everyone walks around with an i-phone fully loaded with many applications.

So, God created the internet.

“All this just for me?”
She asked as she finally turned over in His Arms.
“All this just to enter a single woman? I am flattered.”
She said with a smile, as she rested her head on His shoulder.

“Yes! because I truly LOVE you!”
Said God with a smile.
“I would have gone to the end of time to find you, but time has no beginning and no end.
I would have looked for you in the four corners of the earth, but the earth is round.
Every movie I have ever made, I made for you.
Every song, poem and every symphony- I composed for you.
I even gave birth …

Let Us PLAY!

Another day.
Set the pieces out again
To show the world
How nicely we can play.

We know the dice are loaded
Still we throw, there’s only
One or zero
Yes or no.

We know the rules
Learned them all by heart.
But first we need to cut
To see which one will start.

You cut me
I cut you.
Some game.

I don’t think
I want to play

(written by Alan Gilbert - Poet and Friend)

Let us Play! Let us Play! Let us just put our knives away.
All the "cuts" we have left on one another's skin, have healed my dear, now let us sing.
We were born to embrace, not accept it We were given nothing more, and so we kept it
As the colors of our boots keep fading We live a life that we hate without saying Who would listen to the cries of a poor man We've never done nothing How could we be something Every heart has an hour of existence Every breath brings a chance for redemption
If somehow we could wake up Let us love Like we were children Make us feel Like we're still living In a world I …

A woman of vision

I wanted to share my friend,
Christel van Krieken who lives in Gisborne NZ.
A true woman of vision- (I thought other women of vision could relate.)

Political Views: I like the view from the beach out to sea, the mountains from the ground, and the earth from the sky

Religious Views: I view religion through rose tinted glasses which I have never worn

Bio The lips of wisdom are closed except to the ears of understanding.
I'm really happy my parents met.

Favorite Quotations:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful
beyond measure.

It is our light,
not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
Who am I to be brilliant,
who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,
as children do.
We were born
to make manifest the glory of God
that is within u…

A letter to a suffering friend

“Let me start by sincerely apologizing for misspelling your name.
I could practically see you saying: “who the fuck does she think she is to presume to offer help and understand my pain- some friend she is, she can’t even spell my name correctly.”

But we have not bumped into one another in the street, nor did we crossed isles in the supermarket.
We connected on FB via spirit.

The same spirit that you refuse to believe can heal you.

It is no accident that I was guided to offer friendship Michael,
that he accepted me
that I saw your comment on his photo album,
laughed so hard,
I had to bring you into my life.

I need laughter in my life.

You are sitting there in Europe hurting, but still sending your humor to the world.

You see dear, if you really wanted to keep living with your pain, you would not have reached out to me.

You would have not sent me all those emails, telling me about your pain, your life, your parents, your lack of hope.

If you really had no hope- you wouldn’t have reached out to a “st…

God- Possessions- pleasure and random reflection on this subject

Common Eastern religion belief, has it that in order for humans to understand God, they need to rid themselves of earthly possessions and desired for material goods.

I want to present an opposite thought inspired by a late night Simpsons dvd watching.

In this episode, Homer Simpson is getting intoxicated by eating extremely hot chillies in a chilly cookout.

He wander into the desert and has visions of a Coyote God speaking to him:
“So, do you want me to give up all of my possessions?” - ask Homer.

“Heck NO!” says God, “If anything, you SHOULD get MORE possessions.
You don’t even have a computer”.

After I stopped laughing, I felt a sense of warmth and comfort that always engulfs me when I hear the truth.

I always believed that God is a LOVER and NOT a disciplinarian.
He want to come into our heart to love and enrich us so we can open up.
Not to terrify us so he can control us as puppets to “save his people”.