I was online first

Please don’t read this note as arrogance.

It was meant to be read in the spirit of the song “I was born about ten thousands years ago” which I am adding in the bottom:

I was online first

When E-Bay was just a baby,

barely able to suck mother America’s breasts,

I was online first

When everybody was afraid to key in

credit card numbers

As if website shopping carts,

were cavernous caves

filled with scammers

waiting to get a hold

of credit card numbers

so they can send their mothers

to vacation in Tenerife

and their daughters to Ibiza.

I was online first.

I sold art

negotiated with collectors

found old and new friends

bought houses before and after

the bubble burst

I was online first.

Now to the "real Version":

I WAS BORNED ABOUT FOUR THOUSAND YEARS AGO

I was born about ten thousand years ago,
And there's nothing in the world that I don't know;
I saw Peter, Paul and Moses,
Playing ring-around-the-roses
And I'm here to kick the guy what says it ain't so.

I saw Satan when he looked the garden o'er,
Then saw Adam and Eve driven from the door,
And behind the bushes peeping,
Saw the apple they were eating,
And I'll swear that I'm the guy what ate the core.

I saw Samson when he laid the village cold,
And saw Daniel tame the lions in the hold,
And helped build the tower of Babel,
Up as high as they were abel,
And there's lots of other things I haven't told.

Queen Elizabeth, she fell in love with me.
We were married in Milwaukee secretly,
But I schemed around and shook her,
And I went with General Hooker
To shoot mosquitoes down there in Tennessee.

I remember when the country had a king.
I saw Cleopatra pawn her wedding ring,
And I saw the flags a-flying
When George Washington stopped lying
On the night when Patti first began to sing

Now you may not believe what I told you is true

But what difference does it really make to you

I'm shooting you a line just to pass off the time

But I'm quitting now because I'm through.