The importance of solitude and the joys of being a modern hermit.
14 days before our adventure cycling in China, my random thoughts:
Yes, it is important to see everyone in the light.... And to love all as equals.... But...... if I were your mother, I would tell you to be mindful of the company you select to spend most of your time with.
The company you spend most of your time with, have the capacity to influence your thoughts and beliefs, unless you are VERY mindful and very vigilant and very watchful of the garden of your mind, and what ideas go in there....
I came upon, a similar quote from a Chinese philosopher named Hasun Tzu:
"A gentleman, must take great care, in choosing the community he decides to live in.
He must keep good company and select men of breedings, as his companions, as a way to ward off mean behavior, and needing to deal with evil, and instead spend his time advancing towards what is fair and what is good."
I think this quote offers a very wise advice.
I also think that we as people, lost the sense to see what is truly good for us.
We hold ideas that are twisted and unexamined about what is soulful.
I will explain what is on my mind, when I say this.
When I was younger, I had MANY friends.
I believed that being "friendly" is the ONLY right way to be... And that a person who is open and friendly to all, shows a greater tolerance and spirit than those who are solitary.
The world views hermits as people who are anti -social and maybe even sad...
After going through a period of a year long depression, in my mid twenties, I lost the daily phone and conversation contact, which I kept with most of my friends.
I had to consciously decide, if I wanted to pick up the effort of daily phone conversations with six or seven friends.... Or not....
I had to decide if I wanted to listen and to be caring and sympathetic, to their stories about their mothers and what they said..... The work challenges or the affairs of their husbands and the illnesses of their children... Who said and did this..... or that....
I noticed that I was spending a few hours EACH day.... On the phone..... Basically wasting my time at the alter of "being a good friend".
I also noticed that the energies of the conversation, will stay with me for hours afterward... And if a friend was aching, I would be depressed for days, even though NOTHING in my own life was wrong... (we have a natural tendency to over sympathize and FEEL what other feel...)
I decided NOT to do it.
And I learnt to LOVE, ADORE and CHERISH my life as a modern hermit.
(albeit a married hermit, but I've just learnt to claim solitary time MENTALLY and EMOTIONALLY, and not to make myself available ALL the time to chat... Or share.......And I allow him to do and be the same.)
Yes, I no longer view a real human need for constant conversations, or for too much time spent interacting with others, but actually value my quiet mental time, MORE than the constant mixing with other people's ideas and energies.
I love solitude.... And actually BELIEVES with OUTMOST conviction, that it is necessary for us, so we can feel and find our inner most workings.
Solitude, also helps us love and enjoy company, when we do have it.
We appreciate it much MORE.
I believe now, that is not needed to have a large stable of friends, all we need is one or two, and they can be our own husband or a neighbor, that we see only on occasions....
We need to allow ourselves much time to BE....to breathe... To realize things... To connect with the essence of things...
I believe that we are wired differently.
Those who work in retail, or in busy offices, do interact with people all day every day.
But artists, writers, philosophers and poets, need much solitary time... To connect to their own authentic Self.
I will end with a quote from the Tao Te Ching:
"Ordinary men hate solitude.
But the Master makes use of it.
Embracing his aloneness,
Realizing he is one with the whole universe."
Yes, it is important to see everyone in the light.... And to love all as equals.... But...... if I were your mother, I would tell you to be mindful of the company you select to spend most of your time with.
The company you spend most of your time with, have the capacity to influence your thoughts and beliefs, unless you are VERY mindful and very vigilant and very watchful of the garden of your mind, and what ideas go in there....
I came upon, a similar quote from a Chinese philosopher named Hasun Tzu:
"A gentleman, must take great care, in choosing the community he decides to live in.
He must keep good company and select men of breedings, as his companions, as a way to ward off mean behavior, and needing to deal with evil, and instead spend his time advancing towards what is fair and what is good."
I think this quote offers a very wise advice.
I also think that we as people, lost the sense to see what is truly good for us.
We hold ideas that are twisted and unexamined about what is soulful.
I will explain what is on my mind, when I say this.
When I was younger, I had MANY friends.
I believed that being "friendly" is the ONLY right way to be... And that a person who is open and friendly to all, shows a greater tolerance and spirit than those who are solitary.
The world views hermits as people who are anti -social and maybe even sad...
After going through a period of a year long depression, in my mid twenties, I lost the daily phone and conversation contact, which I kept with most of my friends.
I had to consciously decide, if I wanted to pick up the effort of daily phone conversations with six or seven friends.... Or not....
I had to decide if I wanted to listen and to be caring and sympathetic, to their stories about their mothers and what they said..... The work challenges or the affairs of their husbands and the illnesses of their children... Who said and did this..... or that....
I noticed that I was spending a few hours EACH day.... On the phone..... Basically wasting my time at the alter of "being a good friend".
I also noticed that the energies of the conversation, will stay with me for hours afterward... And if a friend was aching, I would be depressed for days, even though NOTHING in my own life was wrong... (we have a natural tendency to over sympathize and FEEL what other feel...)
I decided NOT to do it.
And I learnt to LOVE, ADORE and CHERISH my life as a modern hermit.
(albeit a married hermit, but I've just learnt to claim solitary time MENTALLY and EMOTIONALLY, and not to make myself available ALL the time to chat... Or share.......And I allow him to do and be the same.)
Yes, I no longer view a real human need for constant conversations, or for too much time spent interacting with others, but actually value my quiet mental time, MORE than the constant mixing with other people's ideas and energies.
I love solitude.... And actually BELIEVES with OUTMOST conviction, that it is necessary for us, so we can feel and find our inner most workings.
Solitude, also helps us love and enjoy company, when we do have it.
We appreciate it much MORE.
I believe now, that is not needed to have a large stable of friends, all we need is one or two, and they can be our own husband or a neighbor, that we see only on occasions....
We need to allow ourselves much time to BE....to breathe... To realize things... To connect with the essence of things...
I believe that we are wired differently.
Those who work in retail, or in busy offices, do interact with people all day every day.
But artists, writers, philosophers and poets, need much solitary time... To connect to their own authentic Self.
I will end with a quote from the Tao Te Ching:
"Ordinary men hate solitude.
But the Master makes use of it.
Embracing his aloneness,
Realizing he is one with the whole universe."
