Projection... And how we can learn to communicate better...
Psychological projection, is a process in which we project onto others, or onto the world around us, what we think and feel inside.
We do it almost all of the time........and the process is a cumulative one.
To illustrate it, imagine a person feeling fear when he watches the current affairs on TV.
He sees the pain, crime and devastation and his mind remembers all the pain and crime he saw in the PAST......
Before reaching for the remote control to change the channel, he sighs..... and concludes that the world indeed is a very dangerous place.....
That same person, may decide NOT to go on a trip to Europe, or to America, because he just saw all this crime on TV.... After all... His mind just concluded that the world is a very dangerous place...
We often do not recognize that the world we see with our physical eyes, and even experience as our reality daily, is actually a full projection of our ideas, concepts and beliefs.
In other words, NOT all of us live the same reality.
Some have a harsh and cruel reality, filled with violence and anger, while others live quiet and contemplative lives.
Internally, we first decide what it is we WANT to see, then we project it...... and look around for clues and for PROOF, to REENFORCE what we already believe.
This is also why spiritual teachers talk about the World, being nothing but a mirror of our own beliefs and ideas....
In order to make what I am describing more understandable, I will aim to explain how physiological projection works in RELATIONSHIPS.
Projection, is the main reason that we so often have problems in communicating or understanding others.
In order to illustrate these examples, Imagine that you need to carry a "projection/ transference dictionary", to translate to you what others REALLY mean to say... When they say certain things...
Person A : "You work too hard"
Translation= "I wish we had more time together and that we can do more things together."
Person B : "You just do not understand what I am trying to say"
Translation= "I do not feel that I have made my own point very clear, and therefor, I doubt that you can find it very convincing.... And I feel frustrated that we have this break in communication.....and maybe I do not feel that I have words to describe it any better......"
Person A: "You drive WAY too fast"
Translation= "I am very scared now and feel nervous that an accident may occur....."
Person B : "You have no sense of humor about this subject"
Translation= "I do not feel comfortable contradicting you about this subject, and feel that you may get offended or upset, if I'll share what I truly think."
Person A : "You people just do not understand me..."
Translation= "I do not understand people sometimes... They are so hard to figure out and hard to communicate with..."
Person B : "In today's society, You always have to 'dumb down' your ideas and make them short, or nobody reads them or understands"
Translation= "I read so much nonsense, that I do not find fun or do not want to take in, and I feel that others may do the same with what I have to say....simply judge it as nonsense"
Person A: "You do not love me"
Translation= "I am not feeling loved currently...."
Do you see the pattern?
In one case, the person listening to the person speaking, may feel blamed, or guilty, for what is projected on him....
And if he heard the translation words, spoken directly from the heart, he may have just listen to an emotional "confession", and not feel blamed or guilty....therefore he would be free to sympathize with the speaker or offer them what they need.
The secret to identifying when we are projecting our ideas onto others and onto the world at large, is to notice our language.
Notice how the examples above all start with the word "YOU" and how the translation of the hidden meaning, starts with the word "I"
For those who desire to communicate better with their surroundings, lovers, co-workers and family, notice FIRST what it is you are FEELING............and then notice what words your mind conjures up....
Take your time.......And make a conscious choice to speak from your guts and heart without projection.
While searching for the REASONS that all of us are using psychological projection (and sometime transferring our emotions,) it was understood that projection, is a psychological defense mechanism.
A person unconsciously denies his or her own thoughts and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world, and to other people........Thus, projection involves imagining or projecting the belief that others have those feelings.
Projection supposedly reduces anxiety, by allowing the expression of the unwanted unconscious impulses or desires, without letting the conscious mind recognize them.
A simple example of this behavior might be blaming another for our failure.
Our mind may avoid the discomfort of consciously admitting personal faults by keeping those feelings unconscious, and by redirecting libidinal satisfaction by attaching, or "projecting," those same faults onto another person or object.
When talking to people about truth and errors, I've noticed that people are ALWAYS more happy and understands the truth more clearly, when presented with an example of what another person does to create a certain situation.
People are never happy with examining their own patterns, and feel unsafe, even if gently encouraged to examine something that they do, that brings them great misery.
It is as if we walk around, watching REAL LIVE movies... In which we examine what OTHER people do... But rarely feel comfortable or safe, to examine our own.
We do it almost all of the time........and the process is a cumulative one.
To illustrate it, imagine a person feeling fear when he watches the current affairs on TV.
He sees the pain, crime and devastation and his mind remembers all the pain and crime he saw in the PAST......
Before reaching for the remote control to change the channel, he sighs..... and concludes that the world indeed is a very dangerous place.....
That same person, may decide NOT to go on a trip to Europe, or to America, because he just saw all this crime on TV.... After all... His mind just concluded that the world is a very dangerous place...
We often do not recognize that the world we see with our physical eyes, and even experience as our reality daily, is actually a full projection of our ideas, concepts and beliefs.
In other words, NOT all of us live the same reality.
Some have a harsh and cruel reality, filled with violence and anger, while others live quiet and contemplative lives.
Internally, we first decide what it is we WANT to see, then we project it...... and look around for clues and for PROOF, to REENFORCE what we already believe.
This is also why spiritual teachers talk about the World, being nothing but a mirror of our own beliefs and ideas....
In order to make what I am describing more understandable, I will aim to explain how physiological projection works in RELATIONSHIPS.
Projection, is the main reason that we so often have problems in communicating or understanding others.
In order to illustrate these examples, Imagine that you need to carry a "projection/ transference dictionary", to translate to you what others REALLY mean to say... When they say certain things...
Person A : "You work too hard"
Translation= "I wish we had more time together and that we can do more things together."
Person B : "You just do not understand what I am trying to say"
Translation= "I do not feel that I have made my own point very clear, and therefor, I doubt that you can find it very convincing.... And I feel frustrated that we have this break in communication.....and maybe I do not feel that I have words to describe it any better......"
Person A: "You drive WAY too fast"
Translation= "I am very scared now and feel nervous that an accident may occur....."
Person B : "You have no sense of humor about this subject"
Translation= "I do not feel comfortable contradicting you about this subject, and feel that you may get offended or upset, if I'll share what I truly think."
Person A : "You people just do not understand me..."
Translation= "I do not understand people sometimes... They are so hard to figure out and hard to communicate with..."
Person B : "In today's society, You always have to 'dumb down' your ideas and make them short, or nobody reads them or understands"
Translation= "I read so much nonsense, that I do not find fun or do not want to take in, and I feel that others may do the same with what I have to say....simply judge it as nonsense"
Person A: "You do not love me"
Translation= "I am not feeling loved currently...."
Do you see the pattern?
In one case, the person listening to the person speaking, may feel blamed, or guilty, for what is projected on him....
And if he heard the translation words, spoken directly from the heart, he may have just listen to an emotional "confession", and not feel blamed or guilty....therefore he would be free to sympathize with the speaker or offer them what they need.
The secret to identifying when we are projecting our ideas onto others and onto the world at large, is to notice our language.
Notice how the examples above all start with the word "YOU" and how the translation of the hidden meaning, starts with the word "I"
For those who desire to communicate better with their surroundings, lovers, co-workers and family, notice FIRST what it is you are FEELING............and then notice what words your mind conjures up....
Take your time.......And make a conscious choice to speak from your guts and heart without projection.
While searching for the REASONS that all of us are using psychological projection (and sometime transferring our emotions,) it was understood that projection, is a psychological defense mechanism.
A person unconsciously denies his or her own thoughts and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world, and to other people........Thus, projection involves imagining or projecting the belief that others have those feelings.
Projection supposedly reduces anxiety, by allowing the expression of the unwanted unconscious impulses or desires, without letting the conscious mind recognize them.
A simple example of this behavior might be blaming another for our failure.
Our mind may avoid the discomfort of consciously admitting personal faults by keeping those feelings unconscious, and by redirecting libidinal satisfaction by attaching, or "projecting," those same faults onto another person or object.
When talking to people about truth and errors, I've noticed that people are ALWAYS more happy and understands the truth more clearly, when presented with an example of what another person does to create a certain situation.
People are never happy with examining their own patterns, and feel unsafe, even if gently encouraged to examine something that they do, that brings them great misery.
It is as if we walk around, watching REAL LIVE movies... In which we examine what OTHER people do... But rarely feel comfortable or safe, to examine our own.
