About the illusion of surrounding yourself with "positive" people.
Some people who make the shift into living with greater awareness, may think that in order to maintain a "positive outlook" on life, they need to surround themselves with like minded people, who will support their points of views.
They feel that being around "negative" people, will derail them from their chosen path, and will surmount difficulties in their attempt to be more life affirming and positive.
What a silly lie.... It does not hold ground on so many levels....
First there are no negative or positive people, emotions, or situations.
These are only opportunities to practice who you are, by choosing your responses.
You decide what the situation calls for and you decide whether to be gracious, funny, insightful or mean.
An example will be if you encounter a person being mean or cynical.
The first reaction is to think that this man is acting mean,..... not just mean period, but mean TOWARDS YOU.
The anger based person will say to this man: "get out of my face".
While the love and peace based person, may say: " you sound like you are unhappy, or hurting, did anything happen, and do you want to talk about it?"
When you encounter "danger" or an aggressive behavior that you perceive being directed towards you, you are immediately choosing how to translate it and what reaction to choose.
People misread situations ALL the time.
Good AND bad, is being translated by the person who experience things, as he sees fit... As he is programed to think... And as he usually experience life.
I am NOT saying this without close observation and examination of my friends and the ways they think and direct their realities.
I have seen a writer, take a compliment that was given to him, and read into it, a condescending dig.
Despite my many attempts to change his mind, he is sure that he is right in his perception.
He truly felt insulted, when there was NOTHING to read into it, beside the fact that the person cared enough to read his story, and to comment with a compliment.
I have seen people take harmless remarks and translate them into racist digs also.
I also saw a friend, who did it often the other way around....
He wanted to believe that a woman was interested in him, when she was clearly pregnant, unavailable, and only friendly because she was doing her job.
Being positive is NOT about ignoring your anger based tendencies, or the need to become a fully functional member of society who carry his own weight, interact with integrity and develop healthy social skills.
Trying to pretend that money does not matter, is a recipe for disaster.
Trying to pretend to look over things that bother you, also never works.
They will come back up to the surface and will require your attention.
I have seen "positive people," living in "spiritual" communities, who do nothing but bicker all day.
They bicker about money, about a million small decisions and about power.
Usually the desire to surround oneself with only like minded people, who embrace the same truth principles (verbally), is an immature one, and it stems from not being able to fully embrace those principles, and therefore desiring to be around people who will never put you to the test.
I am mentioning that many speak about their lofty ideas, "verbally," but do NOT stand behind their words in actions.
They are rarely consistent and often their behaviors are NOT in alignment with their spoken principles.
This is one of the reasons that these kinds of relationships and communities often fail.
We hold expectations that "spiritual" people do not fully process their range of emotions, but are always suppose to be loving and tolerant...
This is of course nonsense.
Being an emotionally well balanced person, often involved calling people when they are out of line, or on their contradictions and aiming to constantly correct your own.
Because we have wrong definitions of what makes a healthy individual, we hold unrealistic standards of expectations.
This results in suppressed people who do not dare to speak their mind.
Everyone is tiptoeing..... and trying to stay spiritual and kind, while ignoring all the real important issues that are just as pressing and just as primary,...... like who pays the rent, buy the food and who does all the work...
They feel that being around "negative" people, will derail them from their chosen path, and will surmount difficulties in their attempt to be more life affirming and positive.
What a silly lie.... It does not hold ground on so many levels....
First there are no negative or positive people, emotions, or situations.
These are only opportunities to practice who you are, by choosing your responses.
You decide what the situation calls for and you decide whether to be gracious, funny, insightful or mean.
An example will be if you encounter a person being mean or cynical.
The first reaction is to think that this man is acting mean,..... not just mean period, but mean TOWARDS YOU.
The anger based person will say to this man: "get out of my face".
While the love and peace based person, may say: " you sound like you are unhappy, or hurting, did anything happen, and do you want to talk about it?"
When you encounter "danger" or an aggressive behavior that you perceive being directed towards you, you are immediately choosing how to translate it and what reaction to choose.
People misread situations ALL the time.
Good AND bad, is being translated by the person who experience things, as he sees fit... As he is programed to think... And as he usually experience life.
I am NOT saying this without close observation and examination of my friends and the ways they think and direct their realities.
I have seen a writer, take a compliment that was given to him, and read into it, a condescending dig.
Despite my many attempts to change his mind, he is sure that he is right in his perception.
He truly felt insulted, when there was NOTHING to read into it, beside the fact that the person cared enough to read his story, and to comment with a compliment.
I have seen people take harmless remarks and translate them into racist digs also.
I also saw a friend, who did it often the other way around....
He wanted to believe that a woman was interested in him, when she was clearly pregnant, unavailable, and only friendly because she was doing her job.
Being positive is NOT about ignoring your anger based tendencies, or the need to become a fully functional member of society who carry his own weight, interact with integrity and develop healthy social skills.
Trying to pretend that money does not matter, is a recipe for disaster.
Trying to pretend to look over things that bother you, also never works.
They will come back up to the surface and will require your attention.
I have seen "positive people," living in "spiritual" communities, who do nothing but bicker all day.
They bicker about money, about a million small decisions and about power.
Usually the desire to surround oneself with only like minded people, who embrace the same truth principles (verbally), is an immature one, and it stems from not being able to fully embrace those principles, and therefore desiring to be around people who will never put you to the test.
I am mentioning that many speak about their lofty ideas, "verbally," but do NOT stand behind their words in actions.
They are rarely consistent and often their behaviors are NOT in alignment with their spoken principles.
This is one of the reasons that these kinds of relationships and communities often fail.
We hold expectations that "spiritual" people do not fully process their range of emotions, but are always suppose to be loving and tolerant...
This is of course nonsense.
Being an emotionally well balanced person, often involved calling people when they are out of line, or on their contradictions and aiming to constantly correct your own.
Because we have wrong definitions of what makes a healthy individual, we hold unrealistic standards of expectations.
This results in suppressed people who do not dare to speak their mind.
Everyone is tiptoeing..... and trying to stay spiritual and kind, while ignoring all the real important issues that are just as pressing and just as primary,...... like who pays the rent, buy the food and who does all the work...
