A Sex Story
I once had a one night stand with a pilot.
His name was Ori, and he flew small planes.
Mostly Cesnnas. We’ve been together three or four times.
“Well, you can’t really call it a one night stand, can you? I mean... if you’ve slept with him three or four times...?”
“Yaa, I guess..... but it was not really a relationship either....”
“Yaa, I get it, but a ONE NIGHT stand, by definition, imply that you’ve spent together a SINGLE, ONE, night! And you just said you’ve done it 3-4 times...”
“Well, if you are being pedantic here, we actually had 3-4 nights together, but we did it more than once a night..... This is ACTUALLY what I am getting at.... You know, the POINT of the story... that I am trying to make?........ the story... that you keep on interrupting me with?.........”
“I’m just trying to be accurate here. You had SOME KIND of a relationship going.
NOT a one night stand.”
“NO! we really didn’t! Why are you insisting? I told you, there was NOTHING between us beside sex.
I didn’t even like the guy...... didn’t even care to listen to his crazy ideas....... I just liked the way his body felt through his t-shirt....... and without it......”
“Darling, don’t be angry with me, all I am trying to say, is that sex, is also a kind of a relationship....... So, you can say that you had a “sexual relationship” with the guy.”
“I beg the difference. I will say that: IF I WAS NOT INTERESTED in the guy in ANY other way,.....beside his hard penis..... and how it felt inside me......than it is really NOT a relationship.”
“Still, you are NOT making a convincing argument here. It is NOT a ONE night stand....”
“Will you get off my back, and let me tell the story already?”
“I am NOT on your back! I am not even stopping you from telling the story, and how you’ve met him at a party.
The kind of party that you always HATED...... where the music is too loud and the bar is TOO lavish....
You took him to your apartment and you’ve made love to him,........ standing up in the shower....”
“So, now you want to tell the story instead of me?
First you act like you were never there....... and now you suddenly remember the details?
So, maybe you also remember that the whole purpose of the experience was to explore orgasms?........ That I had a string of love affairs with men, who got SO EXCITED to be with me, that they almost always came before me... and I had a shitty time?........”
“Yes, I remember.....
I hear you saying that Ori WAS different...
At least.... that he was different THAT way....
So you DID LIKE him... that IS what I am hearing....”
“No! I really did NOT like him......
But man, he knew how to fuck....
(can I say this out loud? to my friends? they ARE my friends right? I guess we will see by how many numbers the FB counter drops after this...)
So many men, JUST wanted to hold my face in their hands..... gaze into my eyes for hours.....
I just wanted a strong man.... who can hold it LONGER than ten minutes and that does NOT breathe like an overheated teenager...”
“Sound like a crush to me... Tali liked Ori... Tali liked Ori.... Tali liked Ori...”
“Are you listening to me AT ALL? I am trying to tell you it was ONLY his hard.........
And........ that it was a pleasure to meet a man that was NOT out of control....... when you got naked.
A guy that was IN CONTROL of his penis..... Most men acts as if their dick is an ALIEN ANTITY... “
“Does it really matter WHY? You liked the guy? It is obvious to me that you DID like him and that for some obscure reason,....... you are unwilling to admit it here....”
“He was an idiot! He did NOT KNOW HOW TO LOVE.... you know..... in his heart?....... he was SO wounded..... he did NOT know how to love....... but he knew how to fuck....big time.”
“So, now you are saying, that a man can only fuck you good, if he cannot love you?”
“OK.... forget it... I am NOT going to tell the story, if you are going to misinterpret EVERYTHING I am saying.”
“WHeeeeeew, a temper tantrum.... not very mature for a grown up woman.....”
“I am NOT listening to you anymore..... I am going now...”
“Great go! You don’t get your way and you get all huffy and puffy...”
Gone...
Out the door..
Bye.
My dear friends,
Please read this piece with the understanding that I am JUST A CRAZY ARTIST.....
And a girl with a wild past.....
I am NOT going to show up, on your local election ballot, nor am I running for public office of ANY kind.
I am NOT here to save, or hurt, humanity.....
ruin your children or offend your sensibilities......
I am just bored and a bit sluggish this morning...
And I need to speak my mind, beyond society’s pleasantries... that numbs my creative mind.
I need to feel excited....
Maybe feel like I did SOMETHING wrong.... to get my creative juices flowing...
After all, I am SO BORING....
I don’t get to do ANYTHING wrong any more...
I am a vegan,
I don’t smoke,
I rarely drink a glass of wine,
I exercise often,
I never steal, cheat or do any harm....
I pay all my bills with joy....
I am so fucking polite.....
I don’t do ANY drugs of ANY kind......
I never take prescription pills... totally holistic....
I NEVER drink Coke or any sugared drinks - only fresh squeezed juices.........
I do not eat white flour, white sugar, eggs, dairy,...........
I sign EVERY fucking petition to save EVERYTHING.......
I recycle religiously,.......
I compost organic matter in my garden,.....
I cycle instead of drive........,
I write love letter to people who hurt me,.......
I never buy newspapers (I read them online- to save trees),.......
I planted many, many trees,.......
I live with nature and love birds and gardening..........
I am just so Fucking boring.....
His name was Ori, and he flew small planes.
Mostly Cesnnas. We’ve been together three or four times.
“Well, you can’t really call it a one night stand, can you? I mean... if you’ve slept with him three or four times...?”
“Yaa, I guess..... but it was not really a relationship either....”
“Yaa, I get it, but a ONE NIGHT stand, by definition, imply that you’ve spent together a SINGLE, ONE, night! And you just said you’ve done it 3-4 times...”
“Well, if you are being pedantic here, we actually had 3-4 nights together, but we did it more than once a night..... This is ACTUALLY what I am getting at.... You know, the POINT of the story... that I am trying to make?........ the story... that you keep on interrupting me with?.........”
“I’m just trying to be accurate here. You had SOME KIND of a relationship going.
NOT a one night stand.”
“NO! we really didn’t! Why are you insisting? I told you, there was NOTHING between us beside sex.
I didn’t even like the guy...... didn’t even care to listen to his crazy ideas....... I just liked the way his body felt through his t-shirt....... and without it......”
“Darling, don’t be angry with me, all I am trying to say, is that sex, is also a kind of a relationship....... So, you can say that you had a “sexual relationship” with the guy.”
“I beg the difference. I will say that: IF I WAS NOT INTERESTED in the guy in ANY other way,.....beside his hard penis..... and how it felt inside me......than it is really NOT a relationship.”
“Still, you are NOT making a convincing argument here. It is NOT a ONE night stand....”
“Will you get off my back, and let me tell the story already?”
“I am NOT on your back! I am not even stopping you from telling the story, and how you’ve met him at a party.
The kind of party that you always HATED...... where the music is too loud and the bar is TOO lavish....
You took him to your apartment and you’ve made love to him,........ standing up in the shower....”
“So, now you want to tell the story instead of me?
First you act like you were never there....... and now you suddenly remember the details?
So, maybe you also remember that the whole purpose of the experience was to explore orgasms?........ That I had a string of love affairs with men, who got SO EXCITED to be with me, that they almost always came before me... and I had a shitty time?........”
“Yes, I remember.....
I hear you saying that Ori WAS different...
At least.... that he was different THAT way....
So you DID LIKE him... that IS what I am hearing....”
“No! I really did NOT like him......
But man, he knew how to fuck....
(can I say this out loud? to my friends? they ARE my friends right? I guess we will see by how many numbers the FB counter drops after this...)
So many men, JUST wanted to hold my face in their hands..... gaze into my eyes for hours.....
I just wanted a strong man.... who can hold it LONGER than ten minutes and that does NOT breathe like an overheated teenager...”
“Sound like a crush to me... Tali liked Ori... Tali liked Ori.... Tali liked Ori...”
“Are you listening to me AT ALL? I am trying to tell you it was ONLY his hard.........
And........ that it was a pleasure to meet a man that was NOT out of control....... when you got naked.
A guy that was IN CONTROL of his penis..... Most men acts as if their dick is an ALIEN ANTITY... “
“Does it really matter WHY? You liked the guy? It is obvious to me that you DID like him and that for some obscure reason,....... you are unwilling to admit it here....”
“He was an idiot! He did NOT KNOW HOW TO LOVE.... you know..... in his heart?....... he was SO wounded..... he did NOT know how to love....... but he knew how to fuck....big time.”
“So, now you are saying, that a man can only fuck you good, if he cannot love you?”
“OK.... forget it... I am NOT going to tell the story, if you are going to misinterpret EVERYTHING I am saying.”
“WHeeeeeew, a temper tantrum.... not very mature for a grown up woman.....”
“I am NOT listening to you anymore..... I am going now...”
“Great go! You don’t get your way and you get all huffy and puffy...”
Gone...
Out the door..
Bye.
My dear friends,
Please read this piece with the understanding that I am JUST A CRAZY ARTIST.....
And a girl with a wild past.....
I am NOT going to show up, on your local election ballot, nor am I running for public office of ANY kind.
I am NOT here to save, or hurt, humanity.....
ruin your children or offend your sensibilities......
I am just bored and a bit sluggish this morning...
And I need to speak my mind, beyond society’s pleasantries... that numbs my creative mind.
I need to feel excited....
Maybe feel like I did SOMETHING wrong.... to get my creative juices flowing...
After all, I am SO BORING....
I don’t get to do ANYTHING wrong any more...
I am a vegan,
I don’t smoke,
I rarely drink a glass of wine,
I exercise often,
I never steal, cheat or do any harm....
I pay all my bills with joy....
I am so fucking polite.....
I don’t do ANY drugs of ANY kind......
I never take prescription pills... totally holistic....
I NEVER drink Coke or any sugared drinks - only fresh squeezed juices.........
I do not eat white flour, white sugar, eggs, dairy,...........
I sign EVERY fucking petition to save EVERYTHING.......
I recycle religiously,.......
I compost organic matter in my garden,.....
I cycle instead of drive........,
I write love letter to people who hurt me,.......
I never buy newspapers (I read them online- to save trees),.......
I planted many, many trees,.......
I live with nature and love birds and gardening..........
I am just so Fucking boring.....
