A long, boring and incoherent rant about how playing computer games ended up saving my life. (almost)

Last winter, when ski conditions were not very favorable and I’ve experienced a bit of a lull in my art career, I got addicted to playing computer video games for awhile.

Yes, I know that I am a 46 years old woman and that video games are for kids, but as a life long spiritual seeker of growth and truth, I found them very similar.

Let me explain; In order to excel in video games, you need to put aside self doubts, stop second guessing yourself, trust your intuition and go with it.

You have to be quick and sharp and not look back with regrets.

You cannot stop to berate yourself for taking the wrong turn, nor do you have the time for remorse or regrets.

You have to coordinate your brain with your body (hands).

You have to strike when the opportunity arises, and to learn to suspend your emotions AND - you have to do it all in under 3 minutes.

So, when the snow finally started to melt, I felt an itch to go rafting on the river.

After 11 years of marriage, Jules gave up his ambitions of trying to follow me into the depth of the oceans when I am diving, nor does he join me when I am riding angry rivers.

I do it myself now.

I do not hold it against him.

I once traumatized his daughter and her husband by taking them rafting in Washington State on a level 5 river (the highest) when the snow started melting. Nobody else was rafting that weekend and we all ended up in freezing rapids.

Now, Jules takes me to my starting point, where I will ride the river, with my cell phone in a shrink wrapped bag (I love my shrink wrap vacuum sealer and if it were possible, I would shrink wrap EVERYTHING in sight), and he pick me up at the bottom of the river hours later.

“The river was angry that day my friends” (To paraphrase George Costanza in an episode where he pretended to be a marine biologist.)

After the first bend in the river, I knew that this is not going to be a leisurely ride with some wildlife viewing and the occasional thrill.

This was a mouth foaming river at the feet of ancient mountains that were just taking off their cloak of hard winter snow.

I felt real fear gripping me. This was WAY above my skill level. I felt small and vulnerable (I was wearing a Personal Floatation Device, but no helmet)

And then I remembered playing video games.

I heard a voice inside my head saying: “Imagine it is just a video game”...

I felt a surge of confidence rising inside me.

“Hey”, I said to myself, “I am good at this, I can do this”.

I plunged my paddle into the water with increase confidence.

And so I rode.

There were “waterfall rapids” and “washing machine rapids” and I rode them all, screaming with joy and encouraging myself (luckily no one was around.)

Before I knew it, I was down at our meeting point- a bit sun burnt, ravenously hungry, exhilarated- but all in one piece.