Inner process

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Today is our weekly fast day.
I went to the studio and added more doodles on my canvas. The oil sticks that I used to draw some of the symbols, are still wet and I kept on getting it on my hands.
I also feel very antsy.
I am not sure if is related to my art or to the inner process I am going through.
In any case, I have two choices.
To stay in the studio and work it on the canvas or get out of the studio, read a book, relax and go back to it another day.
Since my days here in Colorado are numbered before our trip to New Zealand, I chose to stay in the studio.
But after awhile I feared that the smearing was not going to limit itself to my hands but get all over the canvas, so I called it a day.

The inner process that I am going thorough is a deep examination of my self doubts, their origin and the myths I hold about my self worth, success and my place in the world.
It is an intense examination and many images and voices from the past rise up to be noticed.
I hope that I will emerge from this process more illuminated and a stronger person.

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